4 posts tagged “procrastination”

I shouldn't be...I drank too much last night and ate white castle's at an obscene hour of the morning...got less than 4 hours of sleep, still have a mild headache...had to give myself a shot in the belly first thing.  I lost my wallet last night after paying for white castle and have no idea where it could be. It's been rainy and cloudy for 5 days... I should feel like roadkill right now.  Roadkill that's a week or two old and so tattered it's losing it's stink.  But I don't.

I'm feeling pretty good.
H has made us an appt with a couples therapist.  He and I haven't fought in days.  And I'm starting to feel more tender and loving towards him than I have in weeks.
My heart sister and I were given the green light on the egg production, so I've started the hormones today (which the doctor told me should make me feel very good - no argument there- bring it on!).  No drinking for two weeks - it'll be a very good hiatus for me. 
Last night I had the privilege of making kissy face with someone who is probably the most beautiful woman I've ever touched lips to.  And she's sweet as pie, cool as hell, and fun to be around.  And she and H each think the other one hung the moon. 
Not accomplishing much at work, but my boss is off my back this week, which is very nice.
I even feel a bit hopeful about the future.

Can you tell why I procrastinate?

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That's what I am today.  Despite lying in the bed for 5+ hours I got zero sleep last night and though I don't feel as exhausted as you might think, I find myself unable to function productively.  I have a specific list of things I need to do here at work, and they're fairly simple things, nothing too complicated, but I cannot seem to even get started.  Or care.  I'll say it again: Completely Useless.  At least I feel better mentally than I did lying in bed last night.  During the small dark hours of morning my brain tends to go completely negative and I ruminate in the worst possible way.  The light of day always brings some improvement thankfully.  

Outrageous Fortune

Don’t get too close or I’ll bite your arm off.  I didn’t wake up feeling this way, but a series of messages/emails have left me feeling like I’ll start foaming at the mouth at any moment.

Myspace – I know I suck as a scarf exchange friend.  I’m fully aware that I’m two months late in mailing my scarf.  I’m still working on the stupid thing.  I’m already mentally flagellating my self on a daily basis about this – to the point that I haven’t picked up the scarf in two weeks because I HATE it.  Just cause I suck as a scarf exchange friend and I’m very late with it does not mean I lied about doing the scarf at all though.  It’s actually 2/3rds done.  The more you harass me about it, the more I avoid it.  So stop. So I can start again. And get the damn thing in the mail and out of my brain.

Work – Don’t get mad at me about not feeling comfortable participating in a meeting when you haven’t given me any information about what I’m supposed to be doing!  I’m not psychic. It's hard to be "up to speed" when I haven't been given the vehicle which I'm supposed to accelerate in!!   And please give me more than 3 days notice that you want this that and the other thing done – does it not occur to you that I might have other things scheduled – like the program I run starting up next week? Maybe?

Roller Derby– has everyone lost their minds?  Really, am I the only sane one rolling around right now? This doesn’t feel fun to me anymore.  I’m dreading practice and I hate feeling that way.  I’m a good skater and a good team member, but I hate the sick stuff that’s going on with my team and with the league in general.  It reminds me too much of a REALLY sick former workplace, where it was a WWII bunker mentality - as in:  "We don't have enough people and it's really not physically, emotionally or mentally safe, but we can do it all anyway, and if you don't like it you must be big wimp and something must be wrong with you."  ugh.  Not healthy, fun, or pretty. 

Bright spots – Spending time with love of my life later tonight - I'd like to reconnect with him emotionally and sexually.  Date tomorrow night with sexy interesting lady.  Weekend starts day after tomorrow.